Read (this) Or Die, the one with the paper

I was initially excited to stumble across the R.O.D. series simply because of the name, as I thought that it was going to be some kind of Saw with reading or knowledge acquisition to prevent your own death type deal, which would still have been awesome, but instead it involved very little reading after the first few minutes. Enough of my unsatisfied dreams though, we don't have time for my crushing life story and I don't trust you enough to tell it anyway. ON TO THE SHOW.

R.O.D. is a very mediocre experience overall, with some definitively enjoyable points and a fair amount of meh, erh, and whatevs bro it's aight. The story follows the above girl, known as The Paper because fuck names, as she uses her ability to psychically control ... paper?... to carry out commands from her government handlers. The plot is interesting enough, a few select members of polite society with powers battling a few select members of jerk society with powers always appeals to me to some degree, probably because I am the only person in my area with super powers, but I do like some explanation as to why they have powers and the nature of the conflict they are involved in. R.O.D., unfortunately, lacks sufficient development in either of these areas. This is not enough to condemn the series, but I would not put them high up on your watchlist.

The animation is pleasing enough, but occasional errors and a lack of detail at times make it less exciting than it could be, given the general badassery of being able to make shit out of paper and turn

it to a steel level of hardness. On the flipside, the scenes are interesting and well written enough that it is not too hard to look past the flaws, I actually forgot about the quality level until I went back to re-watch parts before writing this. This is ultimately because of the scenes like the one below, which look rad enough to stick in my mind and color my memories of THE PAPER.

My final concern is with the villains of the show. While reasonable in their design and monologue, the writers selected various minds from scientific, artistic, and academic history to be the opposing force to our paper wielding protagonist. I find this trend annoying and somewhat disturbing, because there is enough demonization of important shit in the real world, leave it alone anime.

bonus, this is what my notes look like when I watch an anime I intend to review (it was a while ago but I believe I was drunk)

*edit: file is corrupted apparently, my bad, you get nothing

To-Y, not the one about 10 year old sex addicts

Alright nerds, this is a fun one. Let me begin with a bit of background on today's anime, and the glorious shit storm that is trying to get a hold of anything but a terrible sub a la Justin Sevakis

   "Issued only once in 1987 (on LD, VHS, Beta and VHD), the laserdisc became an ultra-rare collector's item in the mid-90's, once a fansub was circulated. At one point, it's rumored that a disc was sold on eBay for US$6,000. I was not (and am still not) of the means to spend $6,000 on a laserdisc of anything, but I counted myself as one of the faithful. And for ten years, I hoped to get my sweaty fanboy hands on it."

 https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/buried-treasure/2007-03-15

With anything this valued by a niche market, there are going to be at least one or two copies cobled together on the internet, but, as these things go, most of them will be about as worth watching as any episode of Naruto or the presidential primaries. Thankfully, however, the anime community possesses some individuals with the dedication, talent, and obsessive, nerdy, notgetlaidness  to produce incredible fan assembled copies of even some of the most rare source material. So it is that I was able to get a quality copy of To-Y (after a lot of interneting) and so it is that I bring the review to you hapless fools. 

*BRIEF PSA*

Despite what internet searches will tell you (assumedly as a result of the obscurity of the OVA's), this show is not astorotte's toy, seen here. Fuck that. It is a show about a 10 year old succubus, To-Y is a show about a punk rock band that takes on the dominant Japanese idol scene. If you cannot tell why one of those is cooler than the other, then stop reading and go fiddle with yourself into a shoe or something. 

As some of you will know, I am pretty punk rock when compared to the average Japanese 14-16 year old in the 80's, but who's counting. When I say that this Japanese teenage punk rock narrative is punk as hell, I mean that this Japanese teenage punk rock narrative is punk as hell. We follow a young punker as he deals with the struggles of a popular but unsigned and unproduced band as it competes with the overwhelming popularity of the mainstream music industry, the difficulties of teen life in general, and negotiating group dynamics. enough plot though, let's get to the review aspect yo. 

To-Y is what Sevakis called " like a counter culture Ghibli movie," it digs deep into the rich atmosphere and characters of the early punk scene in Japan. There is an embedded element of realism that shows just how much the creators investigated their subject matter, how passionate they were about making this feel authentic. There is an unapologetic realism to the struggle of these kids that reminds me of my Anti-Flag rocking, skateboarding days. This makes me wonder where my baseball sleeves Dropkick Murphy's shirt ended up BECAUSE I WAS REALLY COOL. Anyway, there is so much to connect to in each of the central characters that To-Y is a guaranteed emotional ride for the inner angsty teen in each of us. 

Art wise, the OVA is nothing special, but not at all a failure. Many of the artistic elements of the period that I have praised in previous reviews are present, but definitely without the full precision and evocative force of  other pieces from the period. This is not to say that it is a let down artistically, but simply that scenes like this could afford a bit more detail and definition. All in all, however, it is an enjoyable visual experience, though the characters and emotional energy are the driving forces in this little gem (hate when people say that phrase, it sounds like an old woman describing a dog or upper class parents describing the kid they secretly hate).

As you may have noticed, I said less about the piece itself this time than normal but that is because it is short and the less you know the more you will enjoy. Plus, now you bastards have to return for more thoughts in the review of OVA 2. Until next time, I will be slaving away on the whims of my cat.

Toward the Terra, or, "What was that movie with people turning 14 and someone named Mr. Blue?"

I first watched the "Toward the Terra" movie around 4 years ago, and have been trying to find it again for some time. Unfortunately, when you only remember that an anime from the 80's involved leaving earth, government conspiracy, and someone named Blue, it is pretty difficult to find said movie on the internet. Thankfully, due to a review of the TV show remake that i stumbled upon, I rediscovered the movie and had the opportunity to revisit an old favorite.

It is difficult to detail the artistic style of movies like this to someone who has not seen one. The soft lines and slightly choppy animation of hand drawn animation with generations of traditional Japanese art as a source origin have a special place in my heart, and the visual warmth is a phenomena that everyone interested in film or animation should witness at least once. I use the word choppy here not because the animation feels discontinuous or poorly constructed, but because the lower frame rate and lack of computer generation gives a hand crafted feel to the images moving across the screen. Perhaps a better term would be baroque or rustic, but these too fail to give words to the emotive potential of the combination of motion and negative space that characterize this style.

Since I am sure that you have heard more than enough of me praising hand drawn slides from teh 70's and 80's, I will spare you from further explanation and move on. Towards the Terra takes place in a society of complete social regulation by the ominously named "Universal Control." At age 14, each child is taken from their parents and reprogrammed at a government facility to ensure that they function as a "proper" mechanism of society. This extreme regulation and oppression is a hold over from the era in which humanity destroyed the environment of earth; it is a tool for maintaining the delicate balance of the artificial cities, the fake earth, that the formers inhabitants of earth now live in. The final feature of this system is to weed out and eliminate members of the society with psychic powers, the social scapegoat for the host of problems now faced.

The narrative follows one such psychic from his 14th birthday as he is pursued by the system and forced to flee, rescued by an organization of psychics trying to disrupt the human social programming and bring society back to a system of freedom and cooperation. Needless to say, I am a fan of anything with liberally anti-state themes, so this is a fun romp through marginally developed revolutionary philosophy of cooperation and non-violence through...violence. No one is perfect, including the angry fucking kid here, all breaking windows and such. 

Nothing about this movie is going to challenge you academically unless you are not particularly smart, but the positive themes and glorious art style make it worth the watch, without question. Also, you get to watch some guy named Blue be called Blue by people with totally straight faces, which is fairly entertaining. Peace children, I will be back with some other thing and words about that thing and maybe pictures also...of the thing.

Dead Leaves: how to avoid overuse of the phrase drill penis in a review

THIS GUY'S PENIS IS A DRILL, FEAR HIM NERDS!!!!!

 

DRILL PENIS!!!!

    Okay, now that we have gotten that out of the way, let me begin by saying that I really, really enjoyed Dead Leaves both times I watched it. This is not going to be one for the kids, or one for people who do not enjoy the margins of animation, plot, characters, and violence. This one is for the nuts and the hardcore eccentrics, the kids who love the strange or who want to see what no one else watches. That said, there is almost certainly a higher concentration of those manners of people amongst anime fans than most other demographics, so a large number of you will probably enjoy this shenanigans. It is important to interrupt my manic rant about strange things I want you to watch, however, to note that this is not strangeness for its own sake (a la Apocalypse Zero, though both feature strange penis weapons), but strangeness as a plot device and vehicle for artistic expression. Trust me, that drill penis is an artistic drill penis, you have to see to believe.
   Dead Leaves follows the tale of two miscreant criminals, Pandy and Retro, who wake up naked together in the middle of a desert, and, after quickly landing themselves in prison, strike out on a mission of combined escape and self discovery (oh yeah, they have no memory at all. this is sounding more and more like my Saturday mornings). In
keeping with the pre-established strangeness, our heroes are exactly what their names imply...as long as you assumed from the names that one had a constant black eye and the other had a t.v. for a head. I will leave it to you to guess which is which. As our glorious lunatics go about their escape, they uncover more and more aspects of their intertwined pasts, and they talent for doling out violence leads them to accumulate an army of prisoners, turning their escape into a rebellion. If at this point you have not abandoned the review out of fear, disgust, or both, fear not! Before extolling the rest of the lovely features of this OAV, I feel it necessary to delve into the problem areas.
   Dead Leaves has what is, almost without question, the most awkward sex scene I have ever scene in anime or anywhere else. Quite possibly the least graphic moment in the whole drill penis, the two protagonists manage to have exceptionally acrobatic and absurdly loud sex through the holes in their cocoon-like restraints that are intended for waste disposal. Not disgusted yet? The waste disposal scene displays the use of these creative designs, a vacuum pump sucks the excrement out of each prisoners body so that order and bowel movement routine can be maintained (this scene also features an unfortunate pipe clogging moment). In complete fairness, this is not an unrealistic feature for a futuristic prison, so, aside from the mildly disturbing concept, it is not too much of problem for the viewer. The two main areas that will give some viewers difficulty are the violence and plot development. Dead Leaves is very, very violent. The violence is graphic. The violence is constant,

and the violence is absolutely essential to the aesthetic and narrative. If you are not looking to see cartoon mutants have their faces removed, literally hundreds of police officers gunned down and ripped limb from lib, and a baby shoot a pseudo-family member while being born, you do not want to watch this. As for plot, Dead Leaves does not suffer from the normal plot problems seen in so many underdeveloped anime. Nothing is blatantly left out or improperly explained, and there is certainly enough information to draw educated guesses on any subject that is not explained fully. Essentially, the plot will be a problem for viewers not looking to draw some of their own conclusions based on given information or viewers who just happen to be fairly unintelligent. If this is you, feel not ashamed, but also watch not the Dead Leaves.
   Back to the final super cool reason to watch the good thing Dead Leaves thing; creative genius. This OAV is an explosion of ideas that could not have been expressed in a more delightful manner. It is very clearly crafted with love, and the stunning visual style, rife with two-dimensional, comic book style shots, is paired with a gloriously absurd mixture of characters that would make any contemporary writer jealous. The concepts and characters may not appeal to everyone in terms of their nature, but they are undeniably exceptionally creative.

ARTGASM


DRILL PENIS

shit you don't care about ... out

Vintage Wednesday: Dominion Tank Police

 Starting off Dominion Tank police, I was intrigued by the art style and, frankly, assuming I would love it because it is 80's dystopian. By the end of act !, however, I had had such a mix of fanservice, chauvinism, and weak character development that I was considering not even finishing the other 3

acts. I decided to sit through it however, and I am very glad I did, as by the end of act 4 I already wanted to re-watch the whole thing. This is the strange nature of Dominion Tank Police, it has some fairly polarizing highs and lows, but definitely enough of the good to outweigh the bad.

   The OAV is essentially a feature length film divided into 4 thiry minute "acts." Each act is given a name and intro/outro to delineate it as the OAV was originall serialized between 4 VHS tapes, but present a contiguous story that takes up each time where it left off. The basic storyline follows the exploits of a new addition to the cities rough and toumble "glorious tank police," Leona, as seen above. Leona works to establish herself among her new comrades, though most are reluctant at first, given her gender and lack of tank experience. At the same time, she is making her own mini-tank and preparing to bring the fight to a gang of criminals who function as the series primary antagonists.

   Overall I would definitely call Dominion a worthwhile watch. The characters, while 2 dimensional at times, are fairly compelling for the most part, the humor is on point throughout, and the animation is lovely. Prepare yourself to stomach some fanservice and also for a bit of NSFW humor, but it never gets to extreme. If you are able to look past the slow points and do not mind a bit of nudity, this is definitely an offering that will give you two solid hours of entertainment. As for the sequel, I will have to find out how it is next.

Sunday watchlist number Sunday

It is Sunday, and I am taking a break from early morning Hearthstone to let you know what anime I will be running on my other screen while I make people look the fool in Arena. Spoiler alert: I can't think of many clever things to say right now. HEADACHE.

EL Hazard - the all of it
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=16
(see "related" at the top of the linked page for the others)
I have a strange relationship to alternate re-tellings and OVA's with sequels in series form; everything must be watched in chronological order and, when there are different tellings, the order they were made acts as a second filter. This means that I will be watching the 2 OVA's, then watching the first series as it retells the same story, and then on to the sequel action. This may sound totally ridiculous, but I find that you can get a lot out of a series this way, few re-tellings are made simply for funsies, and so there is usually a lot of depth vs pacing fun juxtaposition to be had in being able to compare a retelling to the original when watching them in order. What is nerdier than reviewing anime? Reviewing how to watch anime properly. This reminds me that I have never broached this issue, but dubs are for shit (see bottom of this post). OH SHIT I have not said anything about the show yet. It is of that excellent 90's large cast, alternate world, love triangle, whatInuyashawasthebadversionof, action adventure anime vein, which is almost as compelling to me as being of the 80's to early 90's campy sci fi vein.

City Hunter
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=384
(again, going to work through the full set over time)
Explaining why I want to watch City Hunter is the most difficult Sunday Watchlist task I have had thus far, as there really is not a good reason. First off, I do not really expect to like the show overall.

There were several people involved in the project that I respect, but the "total dog that is always trying to get laid, but is really in love with his partner" archetype, especially from this time period, is laborious at best, and really sexist at worst. At the same time, the animations looks, from the old trailers and screenshots I have seen thus far, to be absolutely gorgeous, just take a look at those 80's hard lines and shadowing to the right, so I know that the experience will probably be visually pleasing if nothing else. My other reason for watching is that several reviewers, some of whom I even respect, have given this series mixed positive overall ratings, and I feel that discarding it because of my pre-conceptions before viewing would be silly and, dare I say it, ...no, actually I do not. Anyway, we shall see if my fears are confirmed, denied, or temporarily placated with dog treats.


Jisatsutou
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/manga.php?id=13715

GUYS THIS IS NOT AN ANIME OH GOSH. So, I do interact with media forms other than anime (sometimes) and since this is a watchlist to direct you towards ways to burn time, this manga is going to be included. because read it. yeah. Jisatsutou (suicide island) has an exceptionally appealing plot, and I cannot wait to dive in to this business. The incredibly minimal summary that has been circling through various manga sites is as follows "Treating non-successful suicidal patients requires a lot of money and resources. With low budget and a personal respect argumentation, a doctor will ask a non-successful suicidal patient if he/she still wants to live on or not. If not the government will respect his/her wish. However, the government doesn't just simply kill them. " No sauce because no one seems to know where it is originally from. Anyway, I have learned a bit more about the plot, but you will not hear any of it from me, because I have no desire to spoil any of what I believe will be a series of glorious plot twists.

DUB SACK
Let me begin by saying that I am not even remotely objective on the issues of dubbed anime/films. I hate dubs, I will not watch anything dubbed, netflix should not be allowed to have anime as it is all dubbed, studio dubs are rarely better than fan dubs, etcetera. Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I have two primary objections to dubbing in all its forms, from anime to french art shockers, spanish semi-pornographic films of Antonio Banderas' early career (seriously though, what?) to german soap operas. The more aesthetic of the two is centered on the relationship between audio and visual media that have been created in conjunction. Everything from the unique inflections of voice actors and cultural groups to the relationship between the sound effects and dialogue is planned by the creator of a media object. They are all intended to be parts of a component artistic whole. Dubs, in contrast, are created in the overwhelming majority by external parties contracted to dub a movie or series so that it can by more widely distributed for easy viewing (does not require reading things), and thus has an, at best, loose relationship with the artists original vision, even with artistic oversight. See the English dubs of  such seminal anime as Samurai Champloo for a good example. Secondly, the particulars of a specific language in regards to meaning and the corresponding difficulties in translation carry over with much less distortion in written translation instead of dubbing. Because of the variations in speech patterns and diction between languages, it is much easier to give a close approximation of meaning in translation when the translator is not also attempting to fit the translation into a speech pattern that will not sound awkward or forced when vocalized in place of being read. Our brains can handle some atypical diction and syntax much better when pairing text with audio we do not understand then when hearing translated passages in a language we speak. If you want sauce for linguistic analysis, read some books yo, it is easy.

P.S. If you would like to see anything in particular reviewed, comment on dis post, dat post, or any other post. Anonymous comments are enabled, it is really easy to comment, and I will cry less about my lack of fame if people write things to make me feel noticed.

Vintage Wednesday-ish NSFW

I know, it is not Wednesday. Life has been mad busy, kids, but I will be back on normal schedule by Sunday, worry not. Feels weird to be apologizing to all 7.5 of you (my cat does not count as an entire reader). NOW TO WORK

Apocalypse zero is today's topic, and let me begin by saying that it is seriously screwed up. French art shocker screwed up. Korean rape revenge screwed up. Essentially, it is squarely in one of my favorite genres of non-anime film (shhh I know it is an anime) really disturbing shit that most people cannot sit through (think Philosophy of a Knife, Guinea Pig films, etc.). If you understand those references, you either will enjoy these OVA's, or have very messed up friends. If you did not understand them, I recommend that you grab a stiff drink, turn off the lights, and get ready to learn about yourself in some serious ways.

Yeah, not screwing around people, Apocalypse Zero does everything that you wish or fear anime would do, and in an absolutely no holds barred, self aware manner. The episodes overflow with blood and gore, and almost every villain uses a sexualized body part as a weapon (in this case, double tit bomb is employed by the nurse who just tried to seduce the main character). It is important to clarify, Apocalypse Zero is not an excellent anime. There are a variety of plot holes, a lack of any substantive character development, and several moments of animation error. What is important about this piece, both in terms of it's place in anime and it's watching value, is the way in which it tests the limits of what people can animate and what people will watch. In this way, it is a fun, silly, and entertaining testament to the diversity of the minds of artists and the tastes of the audience. Apocalypse zero is unquestionably not for everyone, probably not even for most people, but if you can sit through it, you will love it.

P.S. no character development/plot discussion, because virtually nothing interesting can be said without giving too much away, unless you want a breakdown of the very basic conflict. Two siblings were trained by their dad to use armor that is blood fed and become badass, one is good and one is evil. They battle, there are sex demons.

Sunday watchlist 3, live free or watch hard

It is Sunday, which means my day of serious devotion to anime, the one true god and all that. For those of you wondering if I actually watch everything on my Sunday watchlist on Sunday...sometimes? I am not actually that deprived of other activity, but do frequently use Sunday to watch as much anime as I can, especially if I do not have to work. Now, on to the anime stuffs.

Arpeggio of Blue Steel
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=15359
World War II style naval battles with ships upgraded via advanced technology and piloted by moe school girls. Even if the visuals I have seen did not look so stunning, the absurdity of the concept would be enough to motivate me to give this a shot.

Magi - the Labyrinth of Magic
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=14395
I can't even explain this one without making 123425124 jokes, so I am going to just give you the ANN description.
"In a fantastic middle-age world where slavery is very common, there are mysterious tall towers named "Dungeon" which mysteriously appeared out of nowhere fourteen years before the story line. Someone who conquers a Dungeon becomes very powerful and wealthy. Our hero Ali Baba is a teenager who works for merchants to support himself. He dreams for conquering a lot of Dungeons and becoming a very rich person. One day, he comes across with a strange young boy named Aladdin who carries a mystical flute with supernatural powers in it. Ali Baba and Aladdin agree to travel their first Dungeon together."
Seriously people...Aladdin has a magical flute Mozart style in a dungeon called dungeon. Yes. 

This Sunday is also home to two rewatches, because they have been on my list of OVA's to rewatch ever since I remembered there names, and I have not seen either in several years. 




Apocalypse zero
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=2
Not going to say too much here because this is the object of a forthcoming review, but this shit is absolutely insane. Giant frog women cops, a man who's penis is a giant weapon, a normal school in the middle of it...weird. Look at the picture people. LOOK AT IT.

Sky Blue
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=2536
With more of the feeling of an opera than a film, this is one of my favorite Korean OVA's and a beautiful meditation on post apocalyptic problems of wealth and environmental decay, which, let's face it, the Korean and Japanese media creators do a much better job of dealing with than Americans.

THIS IS NOT AN ANIME POST

So I have been developing an unhealthy obsession over the past two weeks and, like any responsible blogger, I thus must bring it to all of you other anime nerds, so you can share in my social withdrawal. This obsession is a game called Hearthstone. For those of you who do not know, Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft is a CCG which uses mythos and characters from the World of Warcraft universe as cards in a turn based, life elimination based game reminiscent of Magic the Gathering or Yugioh. I will deal with major differences in a moment, but first, the nature of the beast.

Hearthstone is a turn based card game with scaling increased mana used to play cards from your hand, each with it's own mana cost. creatures can attack one another or the players' life total (starting at 30) with the objective being to reduce the other players life total to 0. One card is drawn at the beginning of each turn, and spells played each turn are only limited by mana. This seems like a lot of information for a few sentences, but the nature of games like Hearthstone is that explanation always over-represents the level of complication. The game is highly intuitive and has a comparatively small number of mechanics compared to magic or yugioh, all of which are straight forward. The reason the explanations seem complex is simply that it takes

a fair number of words to explain things your brain can process automatically with relative ease.

To your right, there is a minion card (minions are the equivalent of monsters, creatures, etc). The mana cost is in the top left, it takes two mana to cost this minion. Each player begins the game at one mana and gains one each turn, capping at ten. The three with a sword through it is the attack power, and the two in a tear drop is the minions health (damage permanently removes health, unlike magic).  In the box below the cards name, there is ability text. Almost all abilities in Hearthstone are triggered abilities, meaning they activate when a particular even occurs. In this case, casting a spell (a non minion, non equipment card) triggers the ability to deal one damage to all minions, yours and your opponents. Spell cards are similar in layout to this one, but have only a mana cost, other values are not present, and an ability. Equipment are the final subset of cards. They are a weapon that can be give directly to your hero and used to attack (thus they have an attack power) but have a liminted nuber of uses, called durability). Now to heroes!

This is a hero, in this case the priest class. Each hero has a subset of cards that can be used in deckbuilding or drafterd in arena mode that are unique to that hero. There is also, of course, a general pool of cards that all heroes can use, but a large portion of the strategy side of Hearthstone is selecting a hero who has the cards and power to make a particular deck type. Hero powers (look below the priest) all cost two mana to use and have different effects on either minions, you, or the enemy hero. In this case, the priest's hero power, lesser heal, heals two points to any minion or player. It is important to note, however, that no minion or player can go above its designated life points without the designation being changed by some other effect, so healing yourself while at thirty life would do nothing.

Deck building. I am not going to go into the strategies of deck building in hearthstone, as this does not need to be a 20 page blog post. Basically, from your pool of hero specific and generic cards, you build a thirty card deck containing no more than two copies of each card, or one if the card is a legend (basically, rare cards you can only have one of in your deck). In arena mode, you build a thirty card deck by drafting one card out of a set of three, thirty times.


Ranked play. it exists. it is fun if you take the game seriously, not at all necessary if you just want to play for fun. This is my ultimate conclusion about Hearthstone; it is a fairly simple game that allows you to take it as seriously as you want to without creating too much of a gap between paying and non paying characters and scales well to your competitive level when matchmaking. As of now, the game is in Beta but I look forward to seeing it develop. Finally, for the record I have yet to spend any money on this game and instead play totally free no money style, but am able to hold my own and have been ranking up over the past two weeks against players who have spent money, so do not feel that you have to spend money to have a good time. As a bonus, I am including my budget and non budget priest deck lists below, enjoy.

Vintage wednesday late because I suck

If any of you remember, I was supposed to have done an Eat Man vs Eat Man 98 review a bit ago. Unfortunately, I contracted the death plague of flu murder and have been out of commission from blogging or working for some time. Thankfully, I am now back and better than...worse things, and my cat is still a bastard, so here is the long awaited by no one review.

Eat Man (non 98 original style) is a delightful blend of the action scifi animes of the 80's and an exceptionally bizarre concept that is as simple and straightforward as it is absolutely absurd. It is important for me to make 2 disclosures at this point. First, I am a huge sucker for 70's-90's sci fi anime. Seriously. It is bad. Secondly, this is not Eat Men the gay porn, so if you are looking for that, wrong blog (I can only assume there is one called Eat Men). The story of Eat Man is, surprising surprise, about a man who eats...metal. Why eat metal, strange Mr. Bolt Crank (yeah, his name is bolt crank, thank you 90's. Also, no relation to LoL)? To make fucking weapons WITH HIS MIND. Anime News Network summarizes, as they are professionals

"Bolt Crank is the World's Greatest Mercenary, and with good reason. He has the ability to eat any object and, when needed, reproduce it from his right hand. Also in the world of Eat-Man is the Alvion, a flying ship that flies even though it is a destroyed wreck. The ship floats in the sky, and is always where Bolt is."
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=143

This seems fairly uninformative, but that is really all that can be said as a summary without giving way too much away. I am not here to summarize though, so let's get to the reviewing. Eat Man has all of the grit you look for in a good 90's action anime. The animation has that wonderful, over saturated look that borders between 2 and 3 D, and the stylized weapon and costume designs give you little doubt as to what time period the anime is from. See manic grin and red eye glasses. Given that this is an action heavy show, the stark muzzle flashes and twists of smoke typical in earlier action anime are also executed with perfection. Unfortunately, another feature of action anime from the past century is also prolific, sexism. Now, sexism in anime is a broad topic with many facets, and I am not going to engage in all of that here. It is important to note, however, that any rights conscious anime viewer will be cringing at the interspersed hyper sexualized female costumes, constant attempts at seduction of the male lead, and lack of self sufficiency or physical ability in almost all of the female characters. This is not a good thing. There, we have acknowledged this, it is an artifact of two decades ago, no excuses, moving on (in a later pose I may substantively deal with the issue). This feature aside, the tone and plot of Eat Man are rather interesting. There is an almost constant sense of foreboding and laziness, a hard duality to pull of well, that reminds me of my first impressions of Cowboy Bebop (do not worry, the shows are not actually comparable so I will not attempt to do so), and yet there are still times for personal moments that give hints that Bolt may actually feel emotion. These moments are quickly destroyed for most of the series. In regards to plot, the epsidoes are very self contained early on, acting more as action vignettes than continuous plot, but move into a more contiguous story later on. The various conflicts are interesting, as strange as the concept itself, while fairly well constructed. There are certainly points when the narrative seems to skip over important details or take too many liberties with plot twists, but overall the series can be followed without any glaring holes ruining the experience. All in all, an excellent piece of action shenanigans. 

TO THE FUTURE

Eat man '98 is a direct continuation of the previous serious, same hero, same job, same ludicrous and awesome ability. Anime News Network says it best 

"The continuing adventures of Bolt Crank, the World's Greatest Mercenary, who has the ability to eat any object, mostly metal and weapons. When the time comes, Bolt can then reproduce those weapons and items in his right hand."
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=144

Wait, that said virtually nothing at all. Well, since my beloved ANN has let us down, time for meandmycat industries here at Shit You Don't Care About to take up the blazing torch of anime reviewing and give you a bit more information.  Stylistically, '98 pulls of the same 90's action feel fairly well, with some obvious graphical updates. There is a fair amount of smoothing the 90's flat color saturation and giving it a bit more depth, but without going so far as to change the visual style entirely. Instead, we are given a more crisp and shadowed version of the same thing. Plot wise, 98 gets a lot more wild, with constant attempts to trick and surprise the watcher, without feeling too manic. At times this definitely gets a bit tiresome, like an M Night Shamalan movie marathon (why would anyone do that), but overall leads to more fun than annoyance. THe other primary update the series receives is stronger female leads, so yay for franchises keeping up with the times in some respects. Though this iteration is usually heralded in reviews as superior to its' predecessor, my nostalgic love for earlier series combined with what I see as a more daring and unapologetic approach in the former leads me to say that, while both series are definitely worth your time, Eat Man will always be a bit closer to my heart. 

As a finally apology for my late sick laziness, look forward to staged battle scene photographs of my Gundam collection getting all space violence and shit.

Sunday Watchlist 2

It is Sunday again, which means time for another list of all of the anime I have been/will be slaughtering my weekend productivity with. If you are looking for a way to rip the entrails from the corpse of any pretension of accomplishment, get on this.

Eat Man
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=143
I know virtually nothing about this series, other than what I have read on ANN and bakabt, but two things made me want to experience it. First, someone on bakabt described it as having the best hero since Vampire Hunter D, so hell yeah. Second, the characters power to eat metal, assemble it in his stomach, and cause it to appear in his hand later is fucking brilliantly insane.

Eat Man '98
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=143
for obvious reasons, see the thing you just read

Pandora Hearts
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=10436
I was directed to this series by a reviewer I trust, and am really looking forward to continuing it after watching the first two episodes yesterday. Hopefully it will not flatten part way in, and keep up the momentum.

Look for an Eat Man/Eat Man '98 double review in the next few days, either for tuesday or for Vintage Wednesday (incorrectly named vintage tuesday in the first post), and learn wether or not watching a lunatic eat metal and guns before manifesting them out of nowehere is as amazing as it sounds.

Vintage Tuesday: 1

Wednesday is, going forward, vintage anime day. Why today? because I wanted to review something vintage and today is Wednesday, so let's give this blog some structure. For my first trick, Galaxy Express 999 (the series, not the movie that summarizes the series). Aside from being one of my all time favorites, and part of my early anime craze/fever/obsession/sandwich, this series is consistently heralded as one of the hallmarks of vintage anime, a true standard. The plot follows the adventures of a young ruffian's attempt to procure life-altering surgery. 

"In a distant future, Tetsuro is a human boy who wants his body replaced with a robotic one. This is possible, but to do so he has to reach the Immortal Planet onboard the space train Galaxy Express 999. Maetel, a beautiful and mysterious blonde woman dressed in Russian style, joins him in the long journey through space. Every episode sees our heroes arriving in a new planet's space train station."

Anime News Network 
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=1361

 A part of the infamous Leiji-verse (a collection of ovas, t.v. shows, etc that all occur in Leiji Matsumoto's brain-child contiguous universe), this show dazzles in several ways. The art is ahead of its time in style and detail, with innovations that mirror film in everything from lens flares to motion tracking, while simultaneously detailing an ethereal and surreally beautiful background for all of the events to play out on. Character design strikes an excellent balances here as well, with the soft lines and enlarged features of the era coupling with realistic movement and empathy inducing expressions of emotion in body movement and facial expression. Seeing such prototypically beautiful and yet relateably human characters move through a soft, inviting space of childhood dreams proves to be a visually stunning experience. 

Character and thematic development is the other central element of this vintage badassery. On one hand, the characters possess a certain linearity in their goals and motivations. This is more of a strategic decision than laziness in construction, however, as the different motivations and overriding goals in each of the central characters serve as psychological profiles of different real and very intense human motivations. Also, the reactiveness of the characters to significant events throughout the series is presented in a manner that testifies to their authenticity as well as their emotion range; few series will make you feel so much for the characters victories and failures, their suffering and happiness. 

This is an anime that requires you be in for the long haul, plot often circles around minor events and their emotional ramifications, but major crisis and action are present with sufficient frequency to maintain steady plot movement. Either as a historical piece, a visual festival, or an emotional ride-along, this anime will not fail to satisfy any but the most "modern animation driven" watcher.

Sunday Anime Watchlost

It is a Sunday, I do not have to work, it is time to anime hard for the day. Here is what I will be watching today, and the order (if I have time for all of it)

Dragon Drive
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=1167

Aoi Hana
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=10672

Neo Ranga
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=1052

Kurogane Communication
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=335

Martian Successor Nadesico
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=42

and, time permitting

Martian Successor Nadesico: the motion picture - prince of darkness
http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=1010

and to think, i was going to spend the day playing torchlight 2

Since I'm not popular, I'll write a review.

WataMote is todays anime of choice, a slice of life title about a seminal favorite subject, the schoolgirl. The existence of a schoolgirl as subject is about the only typical thing about this show, however, as it strays far from the normal tropes of slice of life anime. The first thing that struck me about WataMote (because it is the first thing I saw) was the opening theme. I have little familiarity with Japanese metal, but if this theme is any indication, it is awesome. The track is Watashi ga Motenai no wa dō Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui! (No matter how I look at it, it's you guys' fault I'm not popular!) by Konomi Suzuki and Kiba of Akiba, and delivers a ridiculously energetic scream/shred fest of pure angst goodness, coupled with some visuals of a similar tone, perfectly contrasted to the frequently calm feel of the day to day episodes. It is hard to pinpoint exactly what about this intro was so compelling, but the energy strikes such a …okay shut the fuck up right? It's the cool song people. The episode titling is somewhat unusual as well, taking the form of the title of this review, with the independent clause changing (she does not write anime reviews). This format not only gives a moderate indication of what absurd struggle for friendship will be in the episode, it also reminds the watcher of the constant feeling of isolation the main character lives with. between these two features, it becomes easier to feel for her each episode, and so far we have not made it past the introduction.
    Moving to the substance of the show, the average episode is a 3rd person follow of the primary character's attempt to become socially active, or even make a friend in the first place. Their is very little dialogue for the majority of these scenes, which means that almost all voice is internal monologue from our (not really) hero. Not only does this pull the watcher even more into her psyche as it struggles to mature, it allows insight into the margins of her feeling of isolation. This is the strange tension that makes the show so hit and miss depending on your preferences; integration with her struggle makes the expectation of advancement or success unavoidable, but that expectation is constantly denied. This series is short, but even shorter is the plot development, which stays limited to constant failure and optimism in the face of it. Wether or not this is a valuable plot point (because there is only one) is too philosophical a question for casual reviews, and does not really effect the shows entertainment factor. Instead, simply watch it if you are looking for something unusual in format that fly in the face of normal paradigms of plot development and you will certainly enjoy it. If you don't, I do not really care, I did and I get to write the reviews. unless you want to write reviews. hit me up yo.